Well....

I got a nice long letter from Paul and Nicole this morning explaining that they spoke with Dr. Akerman and he said everything was fine with me and fine with the embryo, sometimes these things just don't work.
He (Paul) also said they weren't sure if they were going to do the next cycle, that they were still contemplating it. I strongly feel that they are not going to. If I am wrong, I will certainly update.

On the plus side of things, my retched, horrible, painful period is O-V-E-R!! AND....
I talked with agency and they have other couples looking for surrogates, and she asked me if I minded working with gay couples, to which I responded no, because I actually was hoping for that!
So, if they decide no more, than I have another couple to move on to and it's all good.

I just am now back in "waiting" mode with this surrogacy to see if Paul and Nicole want to go forth. I have to wait since I am contracted with them. Ok...will update when I have some answers.

<3-Tiff

Post Beta...

Well, it's been 5 days since the negative beta. I am finally ok with the fact that it failed, but the meds and coming off them is hard as hell to do. I've been super emotional, like worse than pregnant. I cry over literally, nothing. It's almost as if I am depressed, like seriously depressed. My emotions right now are similar to those I felt when I was divorcing my first husband. It stinks.
I have Christmas to look forward to, there is nothing like watching Children open gifts you bought them, nothing. But, when I am getting back on my feet from a layoff for both my Husband and I, it's tough to be extremely happy about it. I know I am not going to be able to get them the type of stuff they would have gotten if I were pregnant right now. (sigh) Anyway....we are also moving to a big house with my Parents so I can take care of my Mom, which is out of this little mini ghetto and quiet. I am so looking forward to that.
Plus, Thomas got a really good job, with really good benefits after 90 days and paid Holidays as opposed to the job he got laid off from where it was under the table pay with no benefits or paid time off. Plus he will be making more money and getting 40+ hours a week. I have a lot to look forward to in my world, it's just tough getting through the "right now" and being in a holding pattern. But, if there is one thing I've learned, in surrogacy, there is ALWAYS a holding pattern.

I will be on my period today or tomorrow as AF has reared her head and showed her normal first signs of coming on. I am still waiting to hear if we are doing another transfer and all that stuff that's next. My period is starting soon, so it would be nice to know. Again with the holding pattern. My IP's are "devastated" as they put it in the e-mail and still upset. I understand they are upset, but normally I am the type of person who looks at the bright side of things and I told them to remember, there is still an embryo left to transfer...one more chance....

I guess we'll see. I'll update again when I know something.

I'm noticing how nice it is to blog...I actually kinda feel better getting that off my chest. I talk to my Husband as he is my best friend too, and I do feel better afterwards, but it just kinda recycles itself and comes back.

Who knows.

Later everyone.

Beta day....

Well, it's 5:30 p.m. and Marci just called me....beta results are in at a whopping 2.

It's negative and I am honestly, not surprised. I didn't think it had worked, but I told myself to stay positive and it wound up back firing.

So next transfer I am going into this a little less blindly and lot more cautious.

I am extremely upset that I can't tell Nicole she's getting her baby girl. And it's her Birthday, but fortunately, Marci will tell them the bad news. I know that's selfish, but I'm already taking the blow hard enough. I'm not sure how I could even begin to break the news to them.

We do have another emby, and we will do another transfer it's just maddening wondering what you did wrong....could you have done anything to make this work?
I already know it's up to god...it's just so upsetting....

At least I get a break from the shots and meds for a while, which is nice for me because those things are tough on your body, well the shots are anyway.

Pain....

I've been having some mild period like cramps on my left side. I'm not sure what to think of them. They have calmed down some now, but it was so bad this morning no matter what position I was in I couldn't ease the pain. Now it has let up and only hurts a little when I walk, but I am also having some mild shooting pain in my vaginal area, almost like it feels when I have a stone. Well, that only lasted a minute or so then went away and comes and goes intermitently as it pleases.

I am worried about this. I am 6 days past transfer, hpt's are still BFN....but I've read and heard everyone tell me not to worry about it, it's still too soon since there was only one emby transferred. But I can't help but be like wtf?

I hate waiting, but I knew it was inevitable with this. We'll see what happens.

The dreaded 2WW....

Ugh! On SMO I always thought some of those women were goofy for going grazy during the 2 week wait for their beta numbers.
LOL Now I am one of them and it's a bit tense. More tense that I thought it was going to be. It's like, they put a baby in you to grow and you wanna know if it's growing and if there's more than one. Wondering what your numbers will be and so much more.

And seriously...these PIO shots are a bit much. And if this emby attaches, I have 14 more weeks of it.
Daily shots of this stuff. Ugh...

Anyway, I am going to take a HPT tomorrow (Friday) which will be 4dp5dt and probably every day until my beta on Nov. 30th. I hope to get a good number for Nicole, as it is her Birthday! What a great gift to give someone right? I'm praying for positive pregnancy test at least by Sunday, could always be a late implanter or I could be a non HCG on the pee stick producer lol who knows.

Anyway, it's also Thanksgiving and I want to tell anyone who reads Happy Turkey Day!

Transfer Day!!

So here we are nearly 5 hours after transfer, which was at roughly 1:05 p.m. this afternoon. I've put in a video Thomas took of the transfer from my youtube page. Below it are a couple pictures. The first is just a pic of me on the table lol Thomas was camera happy. The second, is Caroline, her at a healthy 5 day blastocyst, which the Dr. said and I've been reading have a much higher chance of taking since they are ready to attach and over 100 cells.
All in all this was a different experience and honestly I would do it again =D I am just hoping it takes!
I need sticky thoughts! Beta is November 30th...which is a week from tomorrow and also Nicole (my intended Mother) birthday.

I'm excited, but ready to get the hell out of Miami. This place is awful, people are rude and this is worst city by far to drive in. Anyway....more in a week, hopefully I can report a good beta!!

Day before transfer...

So, we got in Miami about 8:30 in the morning Saturday, 45 minutes early but they took me right back for blood work. Thomas could not believe the clinic. It's so shabby, let me tell you. I will take a couple pics tomorrow and also upload the transfer pics because transfer is around 11 a.m. tomorrow. They called me at 11 yesterday and said we had 8 good, healthy fertilized embryo's all sent off for gender testing and that my blood work was excellent and to be in the office for transfer at 11 a.m. tomorrow, Monday the 22nd.

I am so excited and bored lol Thomas and I are in a nice hotel room, but not without consequence. We had a horrible time getting in here. I worked till 11 Friday night, came home and unwound and slept from 1-4 a.m. then drove 4 hours to Miami, Did my blood work and we can't even check into the hotel until 3 p.m. she says. I explained what's been going on and asked for a room as soon as it was clean, so Thomas and I walked around this shopping center and killed 2 hours time. Came back, sat in the lobby for 20 minutes and our room was ready. That was also the time I got the call from the clinic. I slept like a baby last night when I fell out at 10:30 and woke at 4:30 to Thomas waking from someone blaring music. (Strange, I know! but it's the NASCAR Ford something race going on this weekend here, go figure) anyway, we went back to sleep and woke up on our own to no kids, no music or loud neighbors at 8:30....so nice!!!

Anyway, I will update more tomorrow after transfer, I am about to have my weekly routine webchat with Paul and Nicole. This one will be different for sure since we are in Miami and transfer is tomorrow! So excited!!!

More to come tomorrow...from the bed!!

Almost Miami time....

So, I am driving my car to Miami...rental car was too hard to do.

Anyway....They got 15 eggs from the donor! Holy sh*t!

Normally, only ONE egg is released during ovulation....see this article...http://www.americanpregnancy.org/gettingpregnant/understandingovulation.html

Anyway, I took those awful patches off yesterday morning, I've not had to take any headache medicine and I feel better. But, the progesterone is kicking my tired butt. LOL give and take!

Anyway...next blog will be Saturday after my bloodwork and hotel check in.

Laterz!!

PIO shot/ Egg Retrieval

So, here we are it's egg retrieval day. I've decided that I would much rather take a rental car to Miami than to fly in plane, then pay $30 shuttle to the hotel and be stranded for 2 days or worse pay a cab a ton of money to travel the city on our downtime. When I went there for my initial testing, it was $30 in a shuttle from the airport to the clinic, then from the clinic back to the airport in a cab was like $35....plus airfare for both Thomas and I would be like $400-$500, no thanks. A simple economy car would cost $150 with unlimited mileage and the gas from here to Miami is $40 each way. Plus, no baggage costs, airport delays etc. Yeah.

Anyway, I took my god awful patches off this morning and feel sooooooooooo much better. Also took my last lupron shot (yay!) and now I am on Progesterone in oil shot (ladies, this hormone is the reason for being so tired during pregnancy) and I put a video up of me doing the first so you have an idea. I have estrace pills, which are tiny (another plus) and beginning Friday for 4 days I have to take an antibiotic and steroid for the transfer.

I'm still in a little shock it's so close, but ya know I've been waiting for this damn day to come for years. More "officially" since June 2010.

Most journies don't take this long, but my IP's couldn't decide on the right egg donor. That's another blog I've already posted.

Anyway....here is the video...Will update in a couple days when I am in Miami!!

EEEEKKKK!!! ER and Transfer day set!!!

Well it's all set, donor does her trigger shot tonight and egg retrieval is Wednesday!!

I will be having a 5 day transfer on the 22nd. It's a 5 day because the IP's are doing gender selection my Nurse Coordinator, Marci said that they take the embryo's at day 3 and pull cells from them and determine the gender that way and we won't have the results until 5 day, so that's when it is.

Also, my estrogen patches....omg...bad reactions (see previous blog), so it finally got bad enough that I complained about it and Marci talked to Dr. Akerman and ordered me the pills. I will have them tomorrow and then Wednesday I start my progesterone shot and take my last lupron shot. Thankfully it's the only day I have to have 2 shots. After that it's just the nightly PIO shot and estrogen pill.

I'm sooooo excited. A trip away from all the stress and drama!!

My appt.,Patches and misc.

Ok, first, the patches. Holy Sh*t!

Pictures...the first I took this morning. I put on 4 new patches on the left side of my tummy. On the right (where the tattoo is) I had 4 on, they are 2 days old. See all that black crap around the 4 patches?

Well, this picture shows what that black stuff does to my skin once the patches are removed.

You can clearly see the outline of the previous patches. And this is fresh, like an hour ago I took them off.

Anyway-------

I went and waited and waited for my Ultrasound yesterday....finally got it. My lining is beautiful at a 9.6mm. Optimal to carry a baby. I'm still waiting for my blood work and for Marci to call. I need to get my calendar up to date. The donor has been in Miami since Saturday to get monitored daily for Egg Retrieval and now when Marci calls we should have a set date and I can make all my plans for the transfer.

This honestly is torture....waiting! I hate waiting lol

Oh, another patch issue....Massive, massive headaches. I've had a headache a day minimum since starting the patches and some are so bad I can't function or move. I've gotten some bad one's at night too, so bad NOTHING works to take them away and I finally sleep from crying so much from the pain.

Anyway, once I hear from Marci on what's going on, I will probably post another blog. We'll see how things go.

A week to go before transfer...

So, the countdown is on, we are looking at a week before my 3 day transfer (if everything goes according to plan, that is). By this time next week, Thomas and I will either already be in Miami or we will be leaving at the weee hours of the morning Sunday morning, so we'll probably be packing and going to bed this time next week.

When I talked to Julie on Thursday (11/11/10) she said the donor had to lower her dose of the stim meds because they are working too well. She also had to have 2 more ultrasounds than planned and I'll have the final word on Monday about when to expect her to do her trigger injection. Below is a snipet of an article (I will include the web address so you can see the entire page) of why, when etc.

The next step the IVF treatment is triggering the oocytes to go through the last stage of maturation, before they can be retrieved. This last growth is triggered with human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG). Brand names for this include Ovidrel, Novarel and Pregnyl.
Timing this shot is vital. If it's given too early, the eggs will not have matured enough. If given too late, the eggs may be “too old” and won't fertilize properly. The daily ultrasounds at the end of the last step are meant to time this trigger shot just right. Usually, the hCG injection is given when four or more follicles have grown to be 18 to 20mm in size and your estradiol levels are greater than 2,000pg/ML.
This shot is typically a one-time injection (yeah!). The timing of the shot will be based both on your ultrasounds and blood work and when your clinic schedules your retrieval.
(http://infertility.about.com/od/infertilitytreatments/ss/ivf_treatment_5.htm)

I had a long conversation with my IP's via Skype this afternoon and they are super excited as well.
We are going to do some pictures and videos of the transfer and I will, of course, take pictures of the trip to Miami. We are staying in a nice hotel (NOT a Super 8 or Motel 6) and it's by the hospital. Pictures of the transfer, the clinic (Which is really nice BTW) and some of the flight.

The Patches (Which I can't wait to get off of!) are causing my headaches and a little bit of a rash. I posted pictures below (don't judge, I have 2 kids lol) but I am ready to be off of them.

  So, tomorrow is my ultrasound in the morning, so I will know everything I need to know Monday and I will update then, probably on here and youtube.

Have a good week everyone!!

Nov. update thus far....

So here is my first November update...

As of right now, my donor starts her stimms today (The stimulation medication that makes her ovaries produce lots and lots of eggs to be fertilized) and I started wearing 2 patches, which is protocol by the clinic. I think they said the patches are what thickens your uterine lining, and come Tuesday I will have 4 on and change them every 2 days, for 3 changes (6 days total) then back down to 2 a day, depending solely on what my lining check says during the ultrasound I have a week from Monday.
Anyway, I was pretty ticked at first that she messed up but then I realized nothing can be done about it so to just deal with it.
They moved all the dates as well, so now we have potential 3 day transfer on the 21st and 5 day transfer on the 23rd. I am having this feeling that the one embryo they put in me is going to split.
I hope not, but who knows.
Another bit of good news is we get the 3 bedroom in our complex a lot sooner than we expected and I so excited about that. A huge place, nearly double what we currently have, and that's only adding one more bedroom and bathroom. The rent goes up $240 a month but so what? It's worth it for the peace and quiet.
So, to me there's some exciting stuff coming up. Woot!!
Anyway, I will be posting more youtube videos soon, I got one I did today, so you can check that out if you want.

www.youtube.com/user/tiffymm589

Laterz~
Tiffany

Our 2010 Halloween

So, as of last blog I was waiting for numbers and I don't remember what Marci told me exactly, but she told me they were good, and that's what counts. She did send me my new calendar with the estrogen patch schedule and my progesterone schedule as well and the antibiotics and steriods I have to take the week of transfer. I actually have my first patch on as of this morning. Lets just say I feel like my boobs have grown at least a cup size. Wow.

Oh yeah and um, check out the bruise next to my patch...not sure why I have a bruise from my shot, I did it on a stretch mark...wonder if that counts...

 

Anyway, it's halloween!! So, I made a little video to show everyone how the night went with some video and pictures included. Enjoy!

Happy Halloween!!

First Lining Check U/S and Blood work...

Well, my appointment went well this morning. She says my lining is good  and solid at 6.9. Time for estrogen!
The medicine I am taking, Lupron, is suppose to stimulate my ovaries and then shut them off. The pituitary gland controls the hormones that control ovulation and the Lupron controls the Pituitary gland. So, anyway I am still in the part of the protocol where the Lupron over stimualtes before shutting down, so I had 8 eggs in my right ovary and 4 in my left....for those who don't think that's much, a woman normally produces one egg in one ovary when she ovulates, sometimes two, which is when twins occur, every month. So I am producing lots and lots of eggs and my ovaries will shut off soon. Anyway, I am still waiting on final bloodwork from the Miami Clinic. The information I have right now is from the Nurse Practioner who did my U/S this morning.

I find I keep going back and checking IVF stats on all these web sites, but then I have to remember these stats are for women who have never had Children before...as a surrogate, I can carry Children and have already done so. But, I got my own statistic this morning....one of my blog/youtube/facebook friends who I will meet soon in person (since she lives in St. Pete) is using the same clinic for the same thing and she got her BFP this morning!! I'm so happy for her!! That means good things for me too, as our numbers are similar. Hope my embryo quality is just as good as hers!!

I will have official bloodwork results late today or tomorrow. I will probly post when I get them if there is anything significant.

Thanks for reading everyone.
**HUGS**

Lupron Side Effects...

Well, so far the main side effects have been just outright exhaustion. I lay my head down at night and I am out. I've been a little hungrier than normal and wayyy more emotional. Also, some serious heartburn!

Also a little TMI action for ya, some extra discharge, but hey, you wanted to know or you wouldn't be reading.

I had Thomas give me my shot this morning. He did really good and I think he got a little too excited. He didn't leave the needle in me long enough just injected and pulled it out, so I hope it took. I'm sure it did. I think I may make a video of him doing it tomorrow lol just for fun.

I go Thursday for an ultrasound and bloodwork to see how my lining is doing and my hormones and ovaries and see if the Lupron is doing its job.

Anyway that's all I have for now.

Day 3 of Lupron shots & My Loving husband

So, I have this uber massive cold that my Daughter had last week and passed to me, and I feel like hell has taken over my head. I have no appetite, can't smell or really hear much because I'm so clogged up and sneezing is awfully painful. Not to mention my throat feels like someone took an ice pick to it and started jabbing it.

Aside from that, I'm on my 3rd day of Lupron shots and well, it's pretty simple. I am bruised, but not too badly from the needle. Last night I had some hot flashes and barely slept, but I don't know if it's from the Lupron or if it was from cold. My husband is adamant it's the Lupron, but we'll see once this cold subsides. All I know is I am tired as heck.

Another thing last night I asked him to make me a club sandwich minus the lettuce, I don't like it unless it's in a salad and that's it, anyway he didn't toast the bread, and that was all the bread we had, he had slathered it with mustard for me, so he wiped it off and put it in the broiler cause he didn't want to toast it with the mustard on it in the toaster, well he brought it back to me burned. I had him walk to my Parents house and get more bread and do it right. I cried every time he brought it to me wrong, 1. Not toasted, 2. Burned, 3. toasted correctly, but not cut. So, on the 4th try it was right. Whew. That was a fiasco. I am not sure I am looking forward to the other hormonal changes, I hope it gets better. But he was a trooper and apologized and fixed it without complaint every time I needed something different to be done. I think I have a winner here folks.

My Baby Bean Shrine....

 So, I start my meds, officially tomorrow and tonight I created a little shrine and put a hand made "Countdown to Baby Bean" picture I colored, my calendar with the important dates highlighted, and what I am suppose to take in the morning, my shots and and meds, on a sheet so I can check them off daily and put the time. I like to be organized lol Anyway here are the photos...

The whole thing...on my dresser in my room

My check list, picture and calendar

My "Shot" station...you can see the other meds too

I can't believe it's getting so close...in 5 weeks I will be getting the little embryo put it me and making a new life for my IP's....FIVE weeks. This has been a long journey, at least it seemed that way, until now, and it seems as if it's flying now. So close, yet so far away.

I will be making a video of my first shot in the morning. It's Lupron it will make my ovaries produce a lot of eggs but in the mean time shut down making Lutenizing Hormone so I won't release the eggs. On the 30th I start Estrogen patches assuming the Lupron is doing it's job, which I have blood work and an ultrasound to confirm that on the 28th. I will start progesterone the week of transfer.

Anyway, check out my youtube page to see the video in the morning....www.youtube.com/user/tiffymm589

Night everyone!

Friday, Friends, and Fun

So, Friday is when I start my meds, 2 whole days!! I am looking forward to feeling more like this is a real thing once I start these meds.


I've been talking to several people I've met on youtube and undoubtedly made a few new friends, one in particular is about a month ahead of me on shots but she is having some issues and stress in a situation I surpassed because I chose an agency.

For anyone considering going through this; those websites that hook you up with Intended Parents seeking a surrogate is nice, but please PLEASE make sure you use an agency. The surrogate does not pay the agency a fee, only the intended parents, at least with my agency. She is having some stress that could be prevented from a simple step that could have been taken. I feel awful for her because honestly, it's the most crucial and hardest part of the entire process before becoming a surrogate, and she's in the middle of it while on these hormone altering medications and I know its not easy. Poor girl.



As for the "fun" aspect...well that's coming the week after Thanksgiving next month when I go get my blood test and it (HOPEFULLY!!!) tells me I'm pregnant. Then the fun begins.
 

So, in conclusion, I'm going to go spend time with my Husband, watch some t.v., make dinner and try and relax before another horrible work day presents itself upon me. All I can do is hope for the best in all the situations coming ahead.

They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, well I'm working on making things better on my own instead of waiting for them to get better. I could be waiting forever.

Blog a little blog for me....

So, here I sit at work, no customers and just day dreaming about the future, which anyone who knows me, knows I do constantly. This particular day dream is about being pregnant again.

Why does anyone like being pregnant? Is it the fact that food is no object to us? The fact that many people go out of their way to help you? Is it the baby kicking you? Is it the belly? Is it the glow?

For me, it's all of the above and since this baby is not biologically mine, it's knowing what's going to happen when this is all over with. It's that my IM is going to have a daughter. You can't trade that for anything.

We agreed they could keep me updated of her progress as often as they wish or not at all if they chose. I believe that conversation turned into me coming to France to visit as often as I'd like, so I am definitely going to do just that as I've always wanted to travel abroad.

I start my Lupron Friday and my IP's want me to make a video, so I will be doing that for them and I will also post it to my youtube account. (http://www.youtube.com/user/tiffymm589)
I've met several new friends on youtube, so never discount that site as nothing but weirdos, because remember, you are on there searching and you know darn well if you had that video, you'd post it too....

I am afraid of T0sh.O finding me and mocking me though. That perturbs me a little, but we'll see what happens.

I am so excited for all of this. I find out the week after Thanksgiving if I am pregnant or not. So close, but so far away!!

My Calendar....

So....I have my Calendar!

She forgot to put when I start the progesterone shots on it, but we'll fix that tomorrow.

So I start my Lupron, 10mg in the morning daily, in my thigh, on the 15th.
I will continue the Lupron until transfer. I'm also to start the prenatal vitamins (can we say fast growing hair and nails?) and the baby aspirin on the 15th as well.

My potential date to start the Estrogen patches, which she will send me another calendar with all that, is the 30th. The reason I need another calendar is because there are days where I will wear one patch, then I could add 3 more the next day and it varies severely by the day in the cycle. I will be expecting one more period (menses) after the 22nd, which is my last birth control pill. (Yay! No more periods for 9 months!!)

The egg retrieval is set for November 15th, but it could vary by a day so it could be the 16th, it depends on how quickly they mature in the donor.  If the 15th is optimal retrieval, then Day 3 transfer is November 18th and Day 5 transfer would be the 20th of November.

That means, shortly after Thanksgiving, I will be pregnant (If everything goes according to plan) and about a week later, I will have sure confirmation via blood test.

That puts my due date around August 8th, 2011- which happens to be the day after my Sister's and the day of a very good friends Birthday.

I need lots and lots of prayers! Two very wonderful people who want a little girl are counting on me!!

So, I dreamed and dreamed all night last night and today during my laying in bed with a massive sinus headache about getting my calendar so I have a transfer date and a date to start all the medications you see in the picture.

In that picture you see pill bottles, shots of two types, and patches. The extra bags you see are needles lol

I will start off with the biggest pill bottle, which is prenatal vitamins and the big white boxes with the green S, is the generic form of Lupron. I have to inject 10 units of that my thigh every morning. I should be starting in 2 weeks, but she told me it's going to be sooner, so I will have an exact date once she e-mails my calendar to me. Also, after 2 weeks of being on the Lupron, I will go have an ultrasound and blood work to make sure the medicine is doing what it is suppose to do, then begin the estrogen patches you see in the purple boxes, one of the pill bottles which is 81mg aspirin and then the other shots, which are progesterone, which I will have my Husband shoot me with in fatty part of my hip, nightly. The progesterone will  be taken up until I am 6 weeks pregnant.

The other 2 pill bottles are an antibiotic and a steroid. I asked what those were for and they are to make sure my body doesn't reject the embryo and also if assisted hatching is needed, I'm prepared. I will only take both for 4 days around the time of the transfer.

It's finally, almost here!! Yay!!!

Oh, once I get the e-mail with the transfer date, I will make a post just for that!!

Tests, tests, tests!

So, I've been going back and forth with Marcie, the Nurse at Dr. Akermans office and also talking to my IP's about the situation at hand to keep me informed of the progress with the egg donor. Well I got an e-mail from my IP's and finally some info from Marcie today. Great news too. They have sent all my Rx's for my birth control pill refill and my shots for the IVF to the mail order pharmacy they use and they are waiting on payment from the IP's to get it processed. I will then be overnight-ed my medications. So, this time next week I should be starting the shots, or at least have them in my possession! I think I will be starting them b/c I also start a new pill pack as well. They said the last of the donor tests should be in by Friday and I should have a calendar by Monday as well, which will have my transfer date!! I'm so excited!!

I am also extremely nervous. I have been and will continue to pray that the transfer works the first time. Emotionally, I've seen what a failed transfer can do to a person thanks to youtube and I'm hoping like hell I don't have the same reaction, but I'm sure it's all in who you are as a person on how you take things.

But this is something I've been wanting for years and working hard at getting done for 4 months and I am finally at the last stage, so I just pray like heck this works the first time. If it doesn't, it just means I stop the meds, get my period and then do it all over again, up to 2 more times for a total of 3, unless they find the transfer didn't work because of something that can't be fixed with medication or routine change or something.

I just need prayers in this situation. We are only transferring one embryo because the IP's only want one child and no chance of more than 2, because we all know, one can split into 2, so they want to null down those chances.

Anyway, they are doing gender selection as well, choosing a girl. I already know the name, but I don't want to give it away until the first ultrasound, then I will put a name to the baby.

I will further update once I get the meds! I am gonna make a youtube video of it and you can find the videos I've already made and continue to update on My youtube Page

Thanks for reading!

Newest News

I talked to the Fertility Clinic and everything is done, we are just waiting on a few test results from the donor that conclude her genetic testing. Cystic Fibrosis testing and couple others apparently take a long time to get results from, so in about 2 weeks from now I should have all results and hopefully a better idea of transfer dates and such!

I'm so excited!!

So, the picture to the left is my husband, myself, Souad, the Founder of Open Arms Consultants and My IP's.


As of right now, I don't know what is going on with the donor still, since we are on the 3rd donor, I'm waiting for e-mails to come in.

I got an e-mail from my IP's this morning and got a bit of a relief when they told me they decided on only transferring one egg since the change of multiples is so high. They are also doing gender selection and I will be carrying a girl for them when it happens. I am still really excited and just ready to get the show on the road, but we are still sitting in limbo waiting on the donor tests.

I hate waiting!! LOL Who doesn't? Anyway....more when I have more news....

So.....

This will be my last update for about 2 weeks or so, or until I sign the contract, which will probably be by the end of the week.

I just spoke with Julie, and my part is done except to sign the contract as previously stated. Otherwise, now we sit and wait for all the results from the Psych tests for the IP's and Donor and the blood work and stuff from the Donor.

This is going to be 2 very long weeks. =(

But, in the end, when I can hand that baby to my IM, she is going to be so thankful. I've never really seen someone who wants a baby as bad my IM. The look in her eyes, it's indescribable. She told me Dr. Akerman (the IVF Dr.) said the inside of my uterus was "beautiful" so the environment is great for a baby.

They agreed to the changes in the contract we made, which was like, rental car reimbursement, gas reimbursement, babysitting reimbursement, paying for the hotel during my stays in Miami for the transfers and some medical issues like there was something in there stating to "pull the plug" on me should I be a vegetable on life support, but only after the baby is born. I had them take out the "pulling the plug" part altogether. Thomas and I want to keep me on life support for a year or two to give me a chance to "come around". Those basic changes and some misspellings lol
I don't remember changing anything else, but I'm sure there were a couple things. I'm not allowed to disclose the exact amount I am being compensated, so don't ask. I can't reveal my IP's identity either, so that will not be answered if asked.

Anyway, so now it's hurry up and wait and that's where we are!

I met my IP's!!

I met my IP's this morning at 11 a.m. at Open Arms with Souad and it was wonderful! A little comforting to know they were as nervous as I was. They are so genuine and so easy to talk to, I couldn't ask for a better IP couple.

My IP's gave me a journal to track pregnancy progress for them, and it's in French, but they want me to write in English for the baby, who will be bilingual. I also found out today, they are going to do a gender selection if possible and they want a girl, so as long as more female sperm create good eggs then we can get a girl, but it all depends on what God wants for the IP's, so we will see!

I know as of right now at 3 p.m. they were meeting with their Lawyer to get the contract finalized and signed and notarized, then Souad is gonna probably have me to do mine and Thomas's signatures here tomorrow or maybe Wednesday and get the ball rolling on everything!!

My IP's also gave Thomas and I a personal gift, which, honestly blows my mind. They gave us a French cook book, completely translated to English. I couldn't get Thomas to put it down and we are going to have some yummy food here once we get settled and can buy the stuff to cook some it.

I'm so freaking excited!!!

New news....

So the original donor is no longer interested since she is a new Teacher and can't take the time off work to do the donation and the new donor my IP's chose has already donated 3 times, so we know she's had all her genetic testing and taken care of everything. Julie at Open Arms should have some sort of schedule for me and to make things even better she (the donor) is already on BC pills so we are like ready, set, match to go as soon as we have some dates. I am also meeting my IP's Monday, which I am a little nervous about but ready to do. Moving over the weekend and getting settled than having all this at once is a bit much, but it will fly by.

Now I'm off to work to think about what's ahead and I can't wait to be preggers and give my IP's a new baby or babies!!

This Morning...

Julie from Open Arms called this morning, apparently the IM sent me an e-mail I never got and they were worried I changed my mind! I found it in my spam folder (thank goodness I haven't emptied in a while!) and I wrote her back then went to google translator and had it translated to French then pasted that to the e-mail and there ya go. I meet them at the agency in a week (the 30th) and I am super excited. Julie also said the Donor starts her period at the end of the month, and they have to get her blood work done on the 2nd day of her cycle, so I should have all answers and calendars ready to go by the 1st week of the Month of September hopefully and we can start the medications.

Also had a long phone conversation with my Attorney this morning and had to change a few things in the contract that weren't previously thought of like,  if I am on bed rest or in the hospital for any extended amount of time, who's gonna care for my kids, or how am I going to pay for that care and all that.

I should know if the updated version is good or not sometime next week and then go get it signed and ready to go!

I'm so excited and so tired!!

Final News until my period next month....

I got a call and an e-mail from the fertility clinic Nurse, Marcie.

All my cultures came back good too, except for something called "Ureaplasma", which if you look it up is something only tested for in other countries and the only reason I was tested for the bacteria was because it can cause miscarriage.

So, A round of antibiotics for me and my hubby and then when my period starts, the medications get shipped to me. Lupron and estrogen and progesterone....lol so much fun. It's all in good taste though, when those Parents see thier baby for the first time....

I'm so excited!!

The Contract...

In my previous post, I forgot to mention that on the 16th I got the 1st draft of the carrier agreement from my Lawyer, which came from the IP's Lawyer. (By the way, the IP's pay for your Lawyer). They call it a rough draft because it can be modified to fit, but it's a basic of what the IP's want. It tells of Pwer of Attorney and many other things that could happen and how many transfers, embryo's etc. Again as previously posted, I'm only allowed to tell so much.

I honestly never imagined it getting this far at all and we're now down to the final stages of this journey with the contract agreement, next is medications for syncing periods and then the transfer. The first and hopefully only transfer.

The chosen donor is local to us and is also a school teacher whose identity I will never know, but she has to take time off work so now we are just sitting and waiting on her. Patience is a virtue!

From the beginning....

In late May 2010 I began scouring the internet for a surrogacy agency, and preferably one that was close to home. I came upon Open Arms Consultants, who happen to be right down the road. I applied online after reviewing their website and within a week or so I got a response from Souad Dreyfus, the founder of Open Arms Consultants.
Souad is a wonderful person, very sweet and very professional. They asked for my insurance information and had a set of IP's (Intending Parents) waiting to meet me as soon as the IP's came in from France.

The process was explained as I had many questions. Hopefully, I can answer many questions as I write more. You have to be in good health, have had at least 1 biological child of your own, have the full support of Family and no mental health issues. Those are the basic requirements.

I was told that once an IP couple chose me, I would then be going for a Psych Eval and then meet with the Doctors at the Fertility Clinic in Tampa and get blood work to check for infectious disease (i.e. HIV, AIDS etc.) and then they would get both the Intended Mother and my periods in sync where we could coordinate for the embryo transfer.

So, around the 26th of June I got a call to meet with the first set of IP's that liked my profile and we met at a local Starbucks. (This was also the first time I met Souad as well!!) It went well and we exchanged questions and stories. I got a call from Julie, Souads assistant, that the couple was ready to move forward, but we would be waiting for them to get their blood work back from the Fertility Clinic in Tampa. I found out a week later that somethings needed worked on, and that the couple would not be needing me until they got whatever issues worked out. I was sad =(

I then got another call from Souad a few days later and I had a phone call with her and another French Couple! We had a wonderful, long phone conversation about all the do's and don't's and beliefs and any problems and promises to meet in person and so on. Souad calls me later and tells me we need to set up my Psych Eval and get the ball rolling!
(Also, in the particular case, which could happen, the IM (Intended Mother) has had a hysterectomy so we will be using a donor egg, which means her and I sync up rather than myself and the IM)
I got my Psych Eval scheduled for 8/2/10 and drove to Tampa with my husband and went and met the Agency Psychiatrist. It was a lot of questions and a personality test (I don't know, it was strange!!). I was told they want to make sure you are in good mental health and in the right mind not to try and take the baby as your own upon the birth and what not.

My results came in good (as I knew they would) and I moved on to going to a Fertility Clinic in Miami. (The reason for the clinci in Miami and not in Tampa is because of the Paternal age....Tampa clinic has a limit). I'm only allowed to reveal so much information, so sorry If I am vague.

The agency booked me a flight and I set out for a day long trip to Miami on 8/9/10. I had a great flight there, and back and Miami is beautiful. It rained the whole time I was there, but it was still beautiful!
I met the Dr. in charge of my case at the clinic, had blood work and a hysteroscopy done. A hysteroscopy in case you don't know is when they use a camera and go inside your vagina and look at your cervix and uterus and tubes to see their conditions and make sure you are in good enough shape for the procedure ahead!

Well, I got my blood work results yesterday and I am soon to start all my medicines to get me ready for the transfer, which the nurse stated was Luprin injections and birth control pills.
I will update as I get more info, but for now, that's all!!